1998. I am 17; on a Monday night (during school holidays, anyway), Neil and I go to a night at Heaven called Popcorn. Upstairs (where you will find me) they play indie disco; downstairs they play 80s muisc, which is where you will find Neil. On Fridays, we go to Camp Attack at GAY, where they play a mixture of 70s and 80s pop.
We love the 80s; we find them hilarious. We often go out dressed like something out of 'Desperately Seeking Susan'.
My mum and stepdad, young parents by any standards, also think this is hilarious. How can the 80s be retro when they were less than a decade ago? Five minutes ago, in fact? This is mental, what the hell is wrong with us?
Cut to the present day and it's my turn. The 90s are having a retro moment. I am the true classic child of the 90s. My teenage years are now retro.
Sometimes I listen to Absolute 90s on the radio while I'm cooking dinner - while some of the early 90s stuff goes over my head (I was 8 when the 90s started), most of it holds strong memories for me and a lot I owned on cassette single. I am now a packaged-nostalgia target market!
Last week, Neil and I and a group of friends went to see Steps on their reunion tour. Steps are only relevant to anyone who was either a) a small child or b) a regular at gay clubs during the late 90s. It's now well and truly nostalgic.
Occasionally a song will come on Absolute 90s that doesn't feel long ago to me and I will be shocked. Or they will play Nirvana and I will baulk at the idea of that being part of a wider nostalgic consciousness - you know 'surely they were only mine!'.
In the most part, however, I love it. Neil and I will (hopefully) be 80 and still be doing the Steps routines and laughing at how I can never get that bastard kick right. The 'reminiscence bump' is a concept I love - that's a whole other blog post.
But I love those memories and I wouldn't be 17 years old again for anything. Bring on old age and nostalgia - if you want us, we'll be on the dancefloor.