I love Lena Dunham. I love her book 'Not That Kind of Girl'. She's not only far wiser than I was at her age, but she is wiser than I am now (and I'm half a decade older than her). I've already read it twice, and it's the sort of book I expect to dip in and out of for years still to come. She strikes me as a very kind person, as well as (obviously) very clever and talented.
It feels odd. Some passages in her book take me back to a time (not that long ago) when I was a lot surer about things. I know I've alluded quite a lot lately to some Big Changes in my life. Well, one of those (among many, actually) is that my boyfriend who I lived with for 11 years and I decided to separate.
When Lena (yep, I feel I can call her Lena, as if we are friends) talks about her boyfriend Jack, it is exactly how I used to talk about my now-ex-boyfriend. I was so sure. I thought I'd cracked it. I thought I was sensible. I thought I was right.
As Lena says in her book, like touching wood: 'I know life is long and people change'. That is exactly the sort of thing I used to say, maybe in those exact words, but only as a superstition. I didn't really mean them. I should have.
It makes me feel a little bit sad. Not for her, for me. Not for her because she doesn't need it - much as I like to think otherwise, we are not the same. She doesn't need me. Maybe she is right. I wasn't. Actually I kind of was. And that's the thing. It's OK.
If we can't believe in the triumph of hope over experience, then what have we left?