Paris Dreaming.

I had so many nice plans this weekend.  Instead I have raging cystitis and have spent the past 24 hours either weeping in the bathroom or huddling in bed shivering.

It is a most unglamorous affliction.

So I have been flicking through this book, wishing I were in Paris and that my kidneys didn't hurt.  It's a tonic for many such occasions.

Bon weekend. x

My Staunch Sister AZD

My BFF AZD has started the most beautiful blog - it is a truly inspiring (as well as fun) read.  I have subscribed via email, and I often get a new post alert on my phone while I am on the train to work, which is great timing as it always makes me smile and reminds me to live my day to its full potential.

She's a writer, a yogi, a great chef, a beauty and an awesome friend.  If you read her writing, you'll see why I love her so much (and that she truly is my soul sister).

I had the great pleasure of answering a few questions about writing and life in general, which are up on her blog right now!  Her Instagram is also worth a look (and features many a drunk photo of me!).

What is hot?

I’m excited about Polly Vernon’s new book ‘Hot Feminist’.  You may have seen this week she did a Twitter promotional chat thing for it – ‘what is hot?’

It’s an interesting question, one that fascinates me.  I know I have quite niche tastes (any conversation with my girlfriends seems to reveal this); the fact that sexiness is subjective is something that delights me.  It would be boring if we were all the same – plus, I can pretty much guarantee that I am very unlikely to fall out with any of my Beckham/Pitt/Gosling-loving girlfriends over a man.

Still, avidly following the Twitter discussion, I was also heartened to note that ‘kindness’ in various forms was a popular answer.  Kindness is hot.  Another answer I thoroughly approved of was: being good at sport (or anything) but not making a big deal out of it.

To me, it’s a very nebulous concept but – probably like everyone – I have a definite list of small, idiosyncratic things that make me a bit weak in the knees.

Hot:

Big noses.

Wonky teeth.

Cardigans.

French.

Writing letters (particularly if you live together).

Fey men who turn out to be unexpectedly good at practical things.

Sunday mornings.

Red wine.

Good grammar.

A really nice coat.

A pretty girl on a bicycle.

Swimming in the sea.

Leonard Cohen.

French knickers and messy hair.

Morning kissing before you’ve cleaned your teeth.

The first half of Court and Spark by Joni Mitchell (stop after Car on the Hill).

Films with subtitles.

Fire escapes.

New York.

Eyeliner.

Black and white.

Secret details – unexpected chest hair, a hidden tattoo, scars, birthmarks…

Books.

General enthusiasm.

Worthy competition.

Not hot:

People who seem a bit squeamish in bed.

Intellectual point scoring.

Rudeness to waiters.

General meanness.

Emoticons.

Body fascism.

Short-sleeved shirts worn with a tie.

The Sure Thing

I love Lena Dunham.  I love her book 'Not That Kind of Girl'.  She's not only far wiser than I was at her age, but she is wiser than I am now (and I'm half a decade older than her).  I've already read it twice, and it's the sort of book I expect to dip in and out of for years still to come.  She strikes me as a very kind person, as well as (obviously) very clever and talented.

It feels odd.  Some passages in her book take me back to a time (not that long ago) when I was a lot surer about things.  I know I've alluded quite a lot lately to some Big Changes in my life.  Well, one of those (among many, actually) is that my boyfriend who I lived with for 11 years and I decided to separate.

When Lena (yep, I feel I can call her Lena, as if we are friends) talks about her boyfriend Jack, it is exactly how I used to talk about my now-ex-boyfriend.  I was so sure.  I thought I'd cracked it.  I thought I was sensible.  I thought I was right.

As Lena says in her book, like touching wood: 'I know life is long and people change'.  That is exactly the sort of thing I used to say, maybe in those exact words, but only as a superstition.  I didn't really mean them.  I should have.

It makes me feel a little bit sad.  Not for her, for me.  Not for her because she doesn't need it - much as I like to think otherwise, we are not the same.  She doesn't need me.  Maybe she is right.  I wasn't.  Actually I kind of was.  And that's the thing.  It's OK.

If we can't believe in the triumph of hope over experience, then what have we left?

The perfect mixtape?!

Look what my brilliant publisher made!  So cool.

(They are actually USB things, in a pleasingly retro/modern twist.)

Oh, and they are to promote my novel 'My Secret Rockstar Boyfriend' - out on 4th June!

Not That Kind of Girl

Trying to channel the brilliance of Lena Dunham, I currently have 'Girls' DVDs on a continual loop while I sit on my sofa writing.

I have also got changed three times today because none of my clothes have felt right.  We all know that feeling, yes?  (Please say yes.)

I have red lipstick, red wine and more words to write.  Happy Sunday!

The First Bad Man

I have long loved Miranda July, ever since I went to see 'Me and You and Everyone We Know' by myself on a weekday afternoon in Soho after a job interview.  I think she's brilliant, and love all of her multimedia adventures.

About this, her first novel, I have only two words.  READ IT.

I have never read anything like it in my life, in the most disturbing and wonderful way possible.  I didn't know it was possible for a book to stir up some of the feelings it did.

Although it seems to have been everywhere for a while, I actually knew very little about the story itself before starting, and I suggest you do the same if at all possible.

I have already given my copy to a friend (who has finished and loved it) and bought a copy for another friend.  It's one of those books that I am desperate to discuss with other people.  Please tell me your feelings on  it!