So, I recently found a spreadsheet that I made earlier in the year. It was called ‘Cats’ and I have no recollection whatsoever of creating it. But I did.
It detailed, only for about a month around February/March, every cat I saw, at what time and what I thought they were trying to tell me. It also described some cats I had not seen (‘I thought I saw a cat under my seat on the train – there was no cat’ or ‘X mentioned a cat on Twitter’).
I was under A LOT of stress at the time. (If you haven’t quite gathered – yes, I thought cats were giving me messages.) Still, it was pretty shocking to see how irrational I actually was – not to mention, how relatively recently
I think I managed to do a pretty good impersonation of a sane person during this time – I managed to go to work, there was no big intervention, etcetera – but, looking at this now, how I ever managed to do so is beyond me. Scared and grateful in equal measure probably sums it up.
Perhaps it would be best forgotten, but I think this is a good reminder. There aren’t many – I’ve put back on all the weight I lost, scars are healing for all of us, luckily I managed to stop myself before I cut all my hair off. I thought about it for a while, then I did not delete the spreadsheet. I still don’t have a cat; I still want one.