jeudi 15 août 2013


So, I recently found a spreadsheet that I made earlier in the year.  It was called ‘Cats’ and I have no recollection whatsoever of creating it.  But I did.

It detailed, only for about a month around February/March, every cat I saw, at what time and what I thought they were trying to tell me.  It also described some cats I had not seen (‘I thought I saw a cat under my seat on the train – there was no cat’ or ‘X mentioned a cat on Twitter’).

I was under A LOT of stress at the time.  (If you haven’t quite gathered – yes, I thought cats were giving me messages.)  Still, it was pretty shocking to see how irrational I actually was – not to mention, how relatively recently

I think I managed to do a pretty good impersonation of a sane person during this time – I managed to go to work, there was no big intervention, etcetera – but, looking at this now, how I ever managed to do so is beyond me.  Scared and grateful in equal measure probably sums it up.

Perhaps it would be best forgotten, but I think this is a good reminder.  There aren’t many – I’ve put back on all the weight I lost, scars are healing for all of us, luckily I managed to stop myself before I cut all my hair off.  I thought about it for a while, then I did not delete the spreadsheet.  I still don’t have a cat; I still want one.

2 commentaires:

  1. Frank, brave and disarmingly honest are the words that go some way to summing up my opinion of this post. On reflection they are probably all inadequate. Thank you for sharing. I couldn't have done it! H-J

  2. Thanks so much - that's really kind of you to say. I'm sort of experimenting with putting things 'out there' and seeing how I feel about it, a toe-in-the-water for now as I want to write more memoir-type things in the future. So far (she says...) I'm surprised at how liberating it feels rather than terrifying. I'll keep you posted! xx