So, I recently found a spreadsheet that I made earlier
in the year. It was called ‘Cats’ and I have
no recollection whatsoever of creating it.
But I did.
It detailed, only for about a month around
February/March, every cat I saw, at what time and what I thought they were
trying to tell me. It also described
some cats I had not seen (‘I thought I saw a cat under my seat on the train –
there was no cat’ or ‘X mentioned a cat on Twitter’).
I was under A LOT of stress at the time. (If you haven’t quite gathered – yes, I thought
cats were giving me messages.) Still, it
was pretty shocking to see how irrational I actually was – not to mention, how
relatively recently
I think I managed to do a pretty good impersonation of a
sane person during this time – I managed to go to work, there was no big
intervention, etcetera – but, looking at this now, how I ever managed to do so
is beyond me. Scared and grateful in
equal measure probably sums it up.
Perhaps it would be best forgotten, but I think this is
a good reminder. There aren’t many – I’ve
put back on all the weight I lost, scars are healing for all of us, luckily I managed
to stop myself before I cut all my hair off.
I thought about it for a while, then I did not delete the spreadsheet. I still don’t have a cat; I still want one.
Frank, brave and disarmingly honest are the words that go some way to summing up my opinion of this post. On reflection they are probably all inadequate. Thank you for sharing. I couldn't have done it! H-J
RépondreSupprimerThanks so much - that's really kind of you to say. I'm sort of experimenting with putting things 'out there' and seeing how I feel about it, a toe-in-the-water for now as I want to write more memoir-type things in the future. So far (she says...) I'm surprised at how liberating it feels rather than terrifying. I'll keep you posted! xx
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