I have waxed lyrical here before about my wonderful,
beautiful and talented friend AZD. She
is a true inspiration, a force of pure energy and a joy to have in my life.
Like many of my favourite people (I also say this about my
sister), she is like the perfect Trojan horse: she looks like a doe-eyed
archetype of very ‘proper’ femininity (like, anyone that pretty *must* be so
sweet and innocent, right?) but underestimate her at your peril. Those wide eyes mask a filthy sense of
humour, a fierce intellect and a true STAUNCHNESS. I am drawn to people of extremes and
contradictions. She’s tiny but my money
would always be on her in a fight.
When I was going through a terrible time a few months ago –
I hadn’t left the house for days, in fact had barely moved from my kitchen
table, hunched and weeping as I smoked endless cigarettes and wondered if I might
actually die – it was this girl who turned up on my doorstep. She’s the only person who doesn’t believe me
when I say ‘I’m fine’ because she’s been there and she knows what it’s
like. She stocked my fridge, poured me a
glass of wine and told me in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t allowed another
cigarette until I had eaten a whole plateful of the delicious vegetarian
shepherd’s pie she had made me (reader, I polished off the lot).
She’s the girl you want on your team in times of crisis –
but I wouldn’t want you to think it’s all doom and gloom. We’ve had adventures running around Paris,
London and Brighton together, and it’s always a delight even just to hang out
quietly at her house – a serene oasis, where there is always homemade cake and
usually wine.
She has recently started writing a
brilliant blog – which
combines her literary and culinary talents with her passion for all-round wellbeing
– so we thought it would be fun to interview each other. You can read
my ramblings over on her blog,
if you like. Here are her answers to my
questions; we are both pretty chatty, so it’s a long read. So, pour yourself a cup of green tea – or a
gin, this is definitely not your standard wellbeing blog, so you can guarantee
that AZD won’t judge either way…
Who is
AZD, in one sentence?
A person of extremes with of an overactive mind, a vivid
imagination and a restless soul.
Tell us
about your new blog…
I’m passionate about health and wellbeing and believe that
within us we all have the tools to live a happier life if we focus our energies
in the right way. I wanted to start a blog that had this ethos at its core.
Something that might inspire people to be the best versions of themselves, to
love and nurture themselves as much as they do those around them.
So often, people judge themselves more harshly than they would
any other person (yes, that’s me) and this is the biggest barrier to inner
peace and contentment. I want to encourage people to look at ways in which they
can firstly recognize and then rebalance this – convert negative energy into
positive energy.
I think this afflicts women in particular, they are conditioned
to put the needs of others before their own – partner, child, pet, whatever. So
it’s a reminder to women to take back some of that time and energy and reserve
it for themselves. I’m inspired by strong, powerful women so it’s a space to
celebrate them, too.
It’s not your classic wellbeing blog – it doesn’t only focus on
healthy eating and exercise. It’s about being in touch with all of our needs,
passions, desires to live happier lives.
Your
blog is a brilliant representation of you, your writing and all of your other
interests – is bringing together these passions important to you?
Yes, absolutely. All these things are what make me who I am. And
my writing is an extension of myself so it’s a natural symbiosis.
Do you
have a specific writing routine or any rituals?
I don’t have any kind of a routine and I find I can’t force it,
rather it forces me. I write when I
feel compelled to, which is most days but to varying degrees and in different guises.
I have several journals on the go at any one time and they usually have
different ‘types’ of writing in them or themes.
During tough times the compulsion to write totally takes me over.
Following a hard breakup a few years ago I spent almost 24 hours writing
non-stop. I wrote myself through the pain; writing is like therapy. Pain is
hard to bear but it is fantastic oil for a writer so it always feels worthwhile.
No experience is wasted if you can write about it.
I write at all times of day and night and I enjoy the way my
writing changes: the clarity of thought I have in the morning, and slower, deeper,
more trance-like state that I slip into in the evening. A glass of wine can
help. I think Oscar Wilde had a great point when he said: “write drunk, edit
sober”.
What
are your future plans for the blog, other writing projects, world domination?
I have so many ideas for the blog! I have “self-commissioned” a long
list of posts, which grows by the day. I have more ideas than time! I want to
interview all the women who inspire me, including Caroline Lucas who I often
see wandering around town.
I’ve vaguely started my first novel, which I’m excited to work
on. It’s about falling in love and where this leads us; how this affects our identity,
what we lose and gain. How the people we meet and love leave an imprint on our
lives. I’m fascinated by the human condition. I don’t suppose it will be very
good, but it will definitely be cathartic!
As for world domination… if I were a successful autocrat, I
would start by introducing the four day working week, obligatory monthly street
parties to help build community spirit, free yoga classes to all, free
cats/puppies to depressed people, community gardens to produce an abundance of
healthy, organic food/wine… stuff like that.
Who are
the women that inspire you and why?
My mum inspires me because she has put everything into raising
us. She is a proper mum, fantastic in a crisis and as well as giving us love
she has she has kept me grounded by being firm and constantly reminding me that
there is always someone worse off than me (something I hated as a teenager but now appreciate). It’s because of her that I
am as strong as I am. She inspired my love of cooking and encouraged me to be
brave in this respect – she rarely cooks from a recipe and relies on her
creativity and intuition to create delicious food, something she has passed on.
More generally, I am inspired by women who aren’t afraid to
speak their minds and stand up for what they believe in. Also, those who
subvert gender stereotypes and refuse to conform to the rigid rules of society in
terms of what it means to be a woman or to be feminine. I am a bit obsessed
with Lena Dunham at the moment.
What is
your definition of feminism?
A feminist is someone who believes in and fights for equality
among all humans regardless of their gender; and someone who exalts in being
female. Being a feminist is acknowledging that you belong to a wider, global body
that extends beyond the individual. I love being a woman and given the choice
wouldn’t change it. (No not even to experience having an erection or having sex
as a man. We still have the upper-hand: multiple orgasms.)
Feminism is as big an issue as it ever was and sexism is still
rife – directed at women by men and (sadly) women alike. It just acts at a more
subterranean level than it did. However, progress is being made. In the UK, it’s
heartening to hear the female voice in politics, with strong women like
Caroline Lucas, Nicola Sturgeon and Leanne Wood repping for us at the frontline.
Between them, they formed their own mini party in the 2015 general election:
the lionesses of politics, one voice, for women. Election night was hailed ‘a
historic night for women in Parliament’ and with one in three politicians now
female (30% up from 22%), things are definitely picking up. A bleaker reality
obviously exists around the globe, but there are small ripples appearing
everywhere. This is what makes being a woman and a feminist so exciting:
together we stand strong. Like Christina said: ‘Can’t Hold Us Down!’
What is
your dream night out?
Good food, champagne, dancing, wonderful girlfriends, beautiful
men. Ideally, in a warm climate and the evening would end with dancing and
singing in the streets, first under the stars and then to the sound of birdsong.
I’m also a fan of skinny-dipping so perhaps I’d throw a beach in there, too.
Have
you ever read a book that has changed your life?
Yes. A couple of years ago, when I was going through a bit of a
personal crisis I read ‘The Brilliant Life Coach’ by Annie Lionnet. I’d never
been anywhere near a self-help book and regarded them with a healthy dose of
cynical skepticism. It was desperate times and I thought it couldn’t hurt to
give it a try. It gave me the courage to take an honest, objective look at my
life and to realize a) that I was deeply unhappy, and b) that only I had the
power to change this. I did, and I’m so pleased that it spurred me to do so. It
is full of little positive quotes like ‘commit to being all of who you can be’
and ‘your destiny isn’t a matter of chance, it’s a matter of choice.’ It was so
empowering working through the exercises in my dedicated notebook and I don’t
know if I’d be where I am now without it.
Which
fictional character would you most like to bring to life?
Oh, easy. Edward Cullen. Twilight. #vampirefetish
What’s
a song that’s guaranteed to make you dance?
Pretty much anything by Beyonce or Destiny’s Child. Also,
Pharrell ‘Happy’.
Where
is the most inspirational place you’ve ever been?
Probably my yoga retreat in Sardinia last September. It was the
first time I’d been on retreat, first time I’d holidayed alone and it changed
my life as it helped me to establish a daily yoga practice at home. We lived as
a community and I met some wonderful people who treated each other with such an
easy, open-hearted kindness. We meditated under the stars to the sound of the
sea. I can honestly say that I am a different (less stressed) person as a
result.
What’s
your spirit animal?
I have the Wolf as my spirit animal, which absolutely delights
me. The wolf represents intelligence, keen instincts driven by intuition and an
appetite for freedom.
What’s
your favourite yoga pose?
Headstand, because it has taken me nearly six months to master
it and I never thought I’d be able to. Every time I slowly rise up into this
pose I am still a little bit surprised and joyous that I can do so. It is
incredible the tiny changes that are achieved when you dedicate yourself to
yoga. Each time I do it, I’m a little bit more stable and can hold it for a
little bit longer or relax a little more. It is wonderfully grounding to take
all of the weight off your feet for a few minutes a day. It reminds me what can
be achieved when you set your mind to something.
Tell me
about your tattoos.
I have two tattoos. The first I had is a tiny heart with a peace
sign inside of it, on the inside of my right wrist. I got it to remember
someone I’d lost. It reminds me of lasting love and that she is at peace. Also,
that although the threat of death is naturally scary to most people, with it
comes peace and people live on through the love we hold for them.
The second, which I had more recently, is a geometric ‘third eye’
design, which sits between my heart and my abdomen (basically under my boobs;
think Rihanna’s goddess tattoo.) It is a commitment to
myself to always listen to, trust and honour my intuition. In other words, listen
to my gut when it’s telling me that something isn’t right and I’m not being
authentic or honest with myself. It looks a bit like a one-eyed, winged
creature and it makes me feel powerful each time I see it.
What
would your last supper be?
Easy. A proper Italian pizza and a hot pudding with gelato. I’d
probably want a really nice salad on the side, too, with lots of avocado, ripe
tomatoes, rocket, basil, and good quality olive oil and balsamic.
What
would you like me to ask you that I haven’t already?
Darling, you have done a wonderful job. But I’d like you to ask
me to dinner because I miss your face!
AZD, I could not love you more. x
