What is hot?

I’m excited about Polly Vernon’s new book ‘Hot Feminist’.  You may have seen this week she did a Twitter promotional chat thing for it – ‘what is hot?’

It’s an interesting question, one that fascinates me.  I know I have quite niche tastes (any conversation with my girlfriends seems to reveal this); the fact that sexiness is subjective is something that delights me.  It would be boring if we were all the same – plus, I can pretty much guarantee that I am very unlikely to fall out with any of my Beckham/Pitt/Gosling-loving girlfriends over a man.

Still, avidly following the Twitter discussion, I was also heartened to note that ‘kindness’ in various forms was a popular answer.  Kindness is hot.  Another answer I thoroughly approved of was: being good at sport (or anything) but not making a big deal out of it.

To me, it’s a very nebulous concept but – probably like everyone – I have a definite list of small, idiosyncratic things that make me a bit weak in the knees.

Hot:

Big noses.

Wonky teeth.

Cardigans.

French.

Writing letters (particularly if you live together).

Fey men who turn out to be unexpectedly good at practical things.

Sunday mornings.

Red wine.

Good grammar.

A really nice coat.

A pretty girl on a bicycle.

Swimming in the sea.

Leonard Cohen.

French knickers and messy hair.

Morning kissing before you’ve cleaned your teeth.

The first half of Court and Spark by Joni Mitchell (stop after Car on the Hill).

Films with subtitles.

Fire escapes.

New York.

Eyeliner.

Black and white.

Secret details – unexpected chest hair, a hidden tattoo, scars, birthmarks…

Books.

General enthusiasm.

Worthy competition.

Not hot:

People who seem a bit squeamish in bed.

Intellectual point scoring.

Rudeness to waiters.

General meanness.

Emoticons.

Body fascism.

Short-sleeved shirts worn with a tie.