jeudi 28 janvier 2016

Role reversal/reversible roles

The first Cat Power song I ever heard.  It was on a mixtape a friend made me; I don't talk to her any more, but I loved that mixtape.

I hadn't listened to any 'old' Cat Power in ages, when this song came on the other day and took me by surprise.  It came on and sounded hauntingly familiar and yet slightly unfamiliar all at once.  It took me right back, to a house I lived in over a decade ago, where I would listen to that mixtape - and particularly that song - on repeat for hours at a time.

I was quite unhappy.  I was thin and pale, weighed down by hair and eyeliner, hiding behind outfits that now I cannot fathom.  I was in disguise.  I was a bit lost.  I was difficult to be around.

Hearing this song now, I am shocked by how dark it is.  How very bleak.  I don't remember being struck by its darkness at the time - it just matched my mood; it sounded exactly how I felt.  That makes me feel a bit sad; it sounds now like wasted time.  This song sounds very, very sad to me, in a way it never did before.  It's still beautiful, though.  I'm very glad it sparked a lifelong love affair with Cat Power - and that she and I have both got a lot happier since those days.

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